Play the Guitar: Lesson 3

   In the previous part we talked about the first chords, E minor and G. And obviously, now that we know them, there are some... complaints. It's only natural.

   The Complaints Department

   1. But... but... I don't wanna play the guitar!

    Hmm, well... Are you sure? Maybe you do! As Eddy Murphy explained in his Delirious Tour, back in '83: singing has some... advantages. (Link to YouTube video, opens in a new tab. Warning: he ain't no choirboy.)

   2. But... but... I don't have a guitar!

   Buy one. My personal advice is to go to one of them guitar stores and ask for a guitar suitable for you. Big, small, it doesn't matter, really, as long as you are comfortable holding it. Ask the guys there to change the strings and install the softest ones they can find. You'll thank me later. Your fingers, too!

   3. But... but... I don't know how to hold the guitar!

   There are several ways to hold the guitar. Some people keep the guitar straight and level, other keep it slightly tilted, with the headstock towards the ceiling. Some people keep it on one leg, some on the other, it is a matter of opinion, I guess. I personally hold it something like this.

   4. But... but... My guitar is defective!

   "I tried to play the chords, like you said, and it sounded like a bag full of cats rolling down hill in a barrel!" Yeah, tell me about it... My guitar was broken too!, when I first got it. I was like: "Man, this guitar is defective!", I said, but in time I got better, and it stopped being such a pain for everyone's ears. And you have to tune it, too. Ask the guys at the store for a guitar tuner, if your guitar doesn't have one already.

   5. But... but... I don't know how to strike the strings!

   Yeah, this part can be tricky. My advice, if you'll take it  (and trust me, a lot of people will be really grateful if you do), is to take it slow. Nice and easy. Don't bang on the strings too hard, be soft, smooth and gentle. And preferably only hit some of the strings, not all of them. Just try to aim at the 4 thinnest ones, and leave the two thickest ones alone. For now. Ah, yes. And get some guitar picks. Thin ones.

   6. But... but... I want to be a rock star, not play some stupid chords!

   Yeah, well... We all want to play like Slash, but even he started from somewhere. Then he worked his way up from there.

   7. But... but... I want to play classical guitar, not some stupid chords!

   Yeah, talk to the guy above.

   There. Now that we've taken care of that, back to our regular programming.

To be continued...