The General, the scientists and the crew discuss the need for safety at all times and the mandatory use of space suits. Personal grooming and hygiene comes into the conversation.
“And how are we going to go number 2 in these freaking suits?”, Steve asked incredulously. We’ll always have to take them off, put them back on, take them off and put them back on over and over again. That sounds like a lot of work to me!”
“Everything sounds like a lot of work to you, honey...”, mumbled his wife.
“Actually, no, we don’t have to take them off”, said the Captain.” The suits, I mean. If I recall correctly, the latest models have a built-in toilet, don’t they? Don’t they, doc?”
”Yes, they do”, said the scientist in charge.
“See? No problem, mate!”, jumped William, hitting Steve up the head with the flat of his palm.
“Well, yeah... But it’s still messy...”.
“I know!”, said Bruce. “For you and you alone, buddy - and this is a one time limited offer - we will have ourselves a new invention!”, he said, tapping him affectionately on the shoulder. “We’ll just stick a tube up your butt and some foil!”, he said with conviction, while the look on the poor bastard’s face turned to pure horror.
“And then”, he continued with an air of complete satisfaction on his face, you’ll just shoot out nicely wrapped, colorless, odorless rabbit type pellets! How’s that for ya? See? Don’t you ever say we never listen to you!”
“Hey, that’s a great idea, Commander”, said the Captain, grabbing one arm of the poor hapless Steve, while William was grabbing the other.
“An excellent idea indeed!”, jumped Susan, while the two were starting to drag him away.
“Guys... Guys... This is not funny!... Guys??!!”
To be continued